In modern society, the topic of depression and mental disorders is most often viewed from the perspective of the afflicted individual. However, less attention is given to the issue of how someone else’s depression affects loved ones. The autofiction zine, «I Hate Puzzles, ” poses important life questions to the reader—chief among them: what is it like to be an observer involuntarily drawn into the gradual self-destruction of a loved one? The narrative of the zine is built upon the metaphor of human puzzles, through which the person’s main internal and external metamorphoses are traced. This leads to the contemplation of how subtle initial changes in a personality can evolve into its complete loss due to illness.
The zine’s graphic style combines several different media: colored pencils, children’s oil pastels, and acrylic markers. This graphic technique simultaneously evokes childhood—when such materials were used by the lyrical protagonist for drawings—while emphasizing the theme’s vulnerability and emotional tension. As the emotional tension builds, the zine’s color palette fills with cooler shades, reflecting the protagonist’s inner numbness and fear regarding the changes in a family member.
